February 2011
if you glare at your bf long enough, he will tell you he will marry you
bf says i remind him of the comic “cathy” because i make weird sounds like she says “ack”. except he thinks its a bad thing. i think its funny. beep bop boop arg quack splat
January 2011
bf brought me hash browns this morning.
nom nom nom
this morning i told bf to read my script today because its been a month since i gave it to him and he still hasnt read it. and that makes me feel bad :( because nobody will read it. and he was like yea yea yea so i told him that every day that he doesnt read it, it will start coming true.
movie is about a psycho girl who stalks the boy she likes :)
dun dun dun
for some reason, bf doesnt like when i act like a creep.
“I was in love with her, but she was not in love with me. I can’t be upset...”
– terrence howard
i used to really like terrence howard, especially in “mr hollands opus” but then a few years ago he said that he thinks girls are gross and dirty and then i liked him less although i guess he has a point:
On his deal-breaker:
“Toilet paper - and no baby wipes - in the bathroom. If they’re using dry paper, they aren’t washing all of themselves. It’s just...
when i moved here from florida i threw out or sold pretty much everything i had. especially if it reminded me of HIM. when my mom found out that i threw out all my blankets and sheets she was ANGRY. maybe angrier than that i dropped out of school and moved across the country. she argued that bedding is expensive and i am poor. i argued that he slept in them so they had to go.
i think its...
boy at work told me i have the voice of a third grader. :(then this happened:: Stephen I have 99 followers on Twitter now. Whoever becomes my 100th follower is getting a prize, whether they want it or not.
Casey gimme a prize2 hours ago
Stephen Speak like an adult.2 hours ago
Casey Give me a prize.2 hours ago
Stephen Ha, not bad.2 hours ago
driving back to work just now i saw a boy who looked EXACTLY like HIM. it was uncanny and unsettling. except it wasnt him since he was picking up his kids from church school in a mini van. but like wow. same face, same smile, same nonchalance. doppelganger for sure.
can you take diet pills when youre preg? probably not, right?
what a hassle.
if technology is so advanced, why cant someone invent the thing from “eternal sunshine of the spotless mind” already so i can forget everything embarrassing ive done for a boy?
the other day i learned that the girls family is supposed to pay for the wedding. since nobody is ever going to marry me, ima take all that money and get plastic surgery! and maybe then someone will marry me. just kidding, no one ever will
similarly, i really hate taking care of boys im dating bc they got too drunk. im not your mom. do it yourself.
the only thing more awkward and embarrassing then getting drunky sicky in front of the boy youre dating is being reminded of it. especially in front of other people.
one time my mama told me to sleep with whoever i have to to get a job and that she would too, on my behalf.
i think my art teacher in high school had a crush on me.
when i was in 1st grade or kindergarten, i had a crush on this boy in my class. and my mama told me he was ugly. HAHAHA. and she was right. dude was like see-through pale.
boston
baltimore
tallahassee
los angeles
? im thinkin seattle. or london.
explanation: exbf argued that its better to break up then stay together if you know you want different things ie i didnt want to get married and have babies with him. but i was like we are having fun and going on vacations and playing outside why stop now dummy?
so when bf says RAR IMA MONSTER AND IMA BREAK UP WITH YOU ONE DAY then im like :( oh i see your point exbf.
but, you know,...
pick up your feet when you walk!
my dad just reminded me that one time in florida HE and i went to a lil hobby shop and were going to make model airplanes and fly them at the park but they cost too much money but while we were there i got the ingenious idea to be et for halloween and he said he would be elliot but then he didnt so i looked like an idiot. and i was dressed as et when i met his now girlfriend. of course.
is it weird if i dye my hair blonde and get extensions? bc the girl who replaced me did that and she looks really pretty. or is that entering “the talented mr ripley” territory?
if crash were a cartoon, hed definitely be the boy from “the road to el dorado”
when i was little i had a crush on ron howard on happy days.
yikes!
my logic is starting to coincide with that of my exbf. :(
i dont like that people who dont care about me really at all still have power over me. my girlfriend said it is inevitable but it makes me feel like such a stupid girl. i hate it.
boyfriend said hes not going to keep me forever.
and he said what if he moves to minnesota and i said id go with and he got all anxiety-ed.
ive found myself in yet another perfectly healthy relationship!
they sell this really awesome birthday card at target thats covered in dinosaurs. i love it so much that ive given it to two different boys so far.
today bf said something that pissed me off, but i guess not really since i already forgot what it was, so i told him that his best friend told me a secret yesterday. and he got mad when i wouldnt tell him what said secret was. mwahahaha
anyway, there was no secret. i lie.
update: false alarm yesterday. he still hates me.
i cannot joke about getting bf a cat. he does not like that. adding that to the list…
i cannot joke about:
being pregnant
getting married
having babies
getting cats
he cannot joke about:
breaking up with me (it hurts my lil heart)
its almost boyfriends birthday and he is getting a pretty awesome present. unless he pisses me off in the next two weeks. then i am getting a pretty awesome present.
its really nice to be in a relationship where i dont have a constant stomachache from worrying.
which is worse: if an exbfs new gf is prettier than you are or uglier than you are?
decisions, decisions
do you think any exbfs read this blog? awkward city.
can people find out that i creep on them on facebook?
well this morning is off to a strange start.
fun texts:
tell nick you love him
you dumb bastards better still be sweethearts
tell nick you have a boyfriend
i get to be the maid of honor at yous guyses wedding
today exbf talked to me. for the first time in months. granted it was just about work, but i felt a little less hated today. less daggers were shot my way.
sidenote: today at worky i was reading a david sedaris book and my boss tells me “THIS is what you need to be doing” — meaning writing wildly successful short stories. which reminded me that freshman year of college i started writing a book of sorts about failed attempts with boys. i had a lot of stories and my friends really liked them. and this was before i ever even had...
if i could find some rich old man to buy me lots of surgeries, my life would be way more fun.
HE would barely ever leave the house with me in tow, but he takes her on vacation left and right.
:(
boyfriend said he will break up with me in 2012. this will be my longest relationship. and then he will dump me like all the rest of ‘em.
just had a thought:
one time while arguing with HIM, he was like “we never kiss” like that was his proof that he didnt really like me. like we only had sex and hung out never really were like romantic or whatever. or i guess i was but he certainly was not. but really i dont really kiss lots of boys. i like huggin. but i suppose that means they dont really like me then if theyre...
my girlfriend said we can get engaged so i can go on bridalplasty :)
table read friday for casey hates boys web series first five episodes. i get to see my reenactments in action. psyched
i gave my creep script to three people a couple weeks ago. guess how many have read it